December 10th, 2015.
Fifteen more days until Christmas,
Twenty-Two more days until the New Year.
What’s so special about that day?
An ordinary day for most, but for me? It marks one of the most important days of my life. December 10th, 2015, God spoke to me. When he spoke, I heard him so clearly, as if he was standing directly next to my ear. I heard him speak so softly and gentle, as he knew where I was mentally. But when he spoke I only heard one word.
Grow? What does that mean God? Where do I have to grow? Tell me more. How am I supposed to grow?
God went silent. I was fresh out of the shower, and I was standing there looking myself in the mirror. A moment of self-reflection. A moment of vulnerability. A moment of questioning who I am. As I stood there, my eyes drifted to my hair. I stared at my hair, ran my fingers through my hair, and took pride in my hair. My hair at the time was my pride and joy. It was going on two years that I had been growing my hair, and it was a healthy length. I felt as if my hair defined me. I thought that my hair would give me clout, get me some hoes, make me stand out.
As I toyed with my hair, I then understood how God wanted me to grow. I had to cut my hair. Cutting my hair would symbolize starting from ground zero. I would create a new person that solely seeks to better themselves with each day. After that day, that is exactly what I did. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Did I have some setbacks? Yes. Did I slip into depression? Definitely. But one thing I did not do was give up. That’s where I demonstrated the most growth. I spent my time working to get better and doing things that would please God, and ultimately myself, and this lead to me feeling a sense of growth and improvement.
Today, as I reflect on my journey, I can see how much I have changed in this year and two months. Of course my hair has grown back (healthier too!), but also I have made huge improvements with my struggles spiritually, mentally, and physically. Even academically, I have made some strides to help myself in the long run.
But why tell this story? Not everybody’s the same.
This story is meant to help that one person out there that is struggling to find themselves. During this time in my life, I was struggling the most mentally. I was consisting battling depression and suicidal thoughts. I had to grow out of depression. I had to grow into happiness. I had to grow into my relationship with God. I am telling this story in hopes of helping someone see their potential. Growing is a difficult task, but when you’re ready to grow it will be one of the best experiences in your life.
The theme for this series of blogs will be entitled Growth. I will examine different themes of growth, whether it is in my own life, music, sports, or any other sectors. I hope that one of these blogs touches you and gives you something to talk about. Feel free to leave a comment.