As I began thinking about starting a blog, I asked myself two simple questions: “what the hell am I going to talk about?” and “who wants to read some of my crappy writing?” All these negative thoughts entered my brain and I started rethinking this idea of a blog.
“What does a blog consist of?”
“What if I run out of things to talk about?”
“I don’t have an interesting story to tell to the world.”
I’d sit down here and stare at my laptop with the most blank expression on my face… Then I’d play some music and get distracted and forget about the blog post. This scenario happened at least 5 times within the last three days. Each time I’d sit here and try to write this really elaborate blog post, I’d feel like it just wasn’t me. I was pretending to be someone that wrote these corny posts, so I can gain readership fast. I was pretending to be someone that has been in the game for a long time (clearly I haven’t but stick with me here.) But today, as I went through ANOTHER day of writer’s block, I remembered that as a 12-year-old child I already had my own website. Of course, this prompted me to look at my website and see how far I’ve come (larryboy1995.tripod.com). As I explored my old website, I found myself laughing at the corny things that I said as 12-year-old. It was “adorable” to think of myself as little Jalen, but then I began to think about something deeper; what happened to that kid that tried things? None of my friends at 12-years-old had their own website. None of my friends even thought that was cool as child. But then I didn’t care. I created my own website and I worked diligently to put it out to the public. What happened to that kid that didn’t care about what his friends thought and sought only to better himself?
As I browsed through the site on my phone, I found a feeling of joy filling my heart. Jalen Larry at 12-years-old was an innovator. Jalen Larry was someone that took pride in something that hardly anyone would ever see. Jalen Larry told his story and took pride in his story, his city, and his family. Jalen Larry took his writing at 12-years-old and put it on the internet for others to read.
Maybe through the creation of Coach Jay Larry or Jay Larry, just maybe, Jalen Larry was pushed to the side. Maybe that’s why writing this blog has become a difficult task rather than a free-flowing experience.
As I finished viewing my old site, I was then able to see what this blog should consist of; this blog should be about me getting back to who that child was years ago. This blog should consist of my growth as a human being, but also reaching back into that boyish joy. Falling in love with reading and writing. Putting all my ideas on paper and thinking about it thoroughly. My writing shouldn’t be limited to what the world wants me to talk about. My writing should consist of my deepest thoughts, no matter the topic. My writing should be about improving myself with each post. Different styles, different topics, different stories.
For the first time in ten years, I can see myself as Jalen Larry, blogger. I can see who I used to be, and focus on what I want to be. Those dreams and aspirations I had as a child are now vivid in my mind. 2017 is a year in which I will be able to connect my growth as an adult back to the boyish joy and creativity that I had at 12-years-old. This is my promise to myself.
Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy your stay. Leave some comments.